Oh the irony.
Monday I’m writing about not wanting vacation to (ever) end. Then Wednesday I go into a meeting as a full-time employee and I leave terminated with a severance check.
It’s for the best. Everything happens for a reason. When one door closes, another one opens. It’s not about you…
Yeah, yeah. I know. It’s just hard to swallow. My dad warned me about the risk of working for start-ups, but I just didn’t prepare myself for this happening.
I sat across from my former CEO and all I heard was blah-blah-blah-restructuring, blah-blah-blah-we’re-terminating-your-position. And BAM! like that I have now joined millions of other unfortunate, unemployed Americans.
I looked at a packet in front of me, sort of sickened that this had been so highly thought out, with a blank line at the bottom of the stack of papers waiting for my signature.
“So…” I started incredulously, “Does this mean I walk out today and never come back?”
“No, no – ” said the CEO.
“No, no, it’s whatever you’re comfortable with,” said my direct boss.
Despite what they said, yes, that’s pretty much what it meant. I grabbed about half of the junk from my desk, waited for a few photocopied documents and that was it.
Luckily my evening included an hour of therapy and a girlie dinner that turned into pizza and cupcakes at home with MaineMan and my friend Nornabelle. I explained to her I didn’t feel like crying over dinner at a restaurant, but she was welcome to come over to see our new place and listen to my sob story.
Today was weird. I woke up a little later than usual, Agnes still needed to be walked and Tucker still needed to be fed. I just didn’t need to go to work. I was supposed to meet my boss for lunch, but I opted to go to the office before everyone got there to grab a few belongings I couldn’t fit in my arms Wednesday. Awkward goodbyes just aren’t my thing.
The rest of the day I tried to relax. I made a few phone calls, including a tough one to my dad, I walked Agnes, I replied to a few condolence e-mails, I cleaned (something about this is therapeutic for me) and I organized some paperwork.
MaineMan came home with a movie and insisted on making tacos. This felt backwards, after all I was the one who’d been home all day, shouldn’t I have been making dinner? But no, not a chance. He wouldn’t let me within a foot of the kitchen, except to get a beer from the fridge.
At some point mid-dinner MaineMan went up to the kitchen to grab hot sauce and I looked at our little family with a smile. Tucker was sprawled out on the rug under the coat rack. Agnes was in front of the coffee table with her head on its surface staring at us, hoping for a nibble. I may have lost a job yesterday, and a paycheck once every two weeks, but my heart is still whole. And for that I am grateful.