Day 1 of a New Chapter

Oh the irony.

Monday I’m writing about not wanting vacation to (ever) end. Then Wednesday I go into a meeting as a full-time employee and I leave terminated with a severance check.

It’s for the best. Everything happens for a reason. When one door closes, another one opens. It’s not about you…

Yeah, yeah. I know. It’s just hard to swallow. My dad warned me about the risk of working for start-ups, but I just didn’t prepare myself for this happening.

I sat across from my former CEO and all I heard was blah-blah-blah-restructuring, blah-blah-blah-we’re-terminating-your-position. And BAM! like that I have now joined millions of other unfortunate, unemployed Americans.

I looked at a packet in front of me, sort of sickened that this had been so highly thought out, with a blank line at the bottom of the stack of papers waiting for my signature.

“So…” I started incredulously, “Does this mean I walk out today and never come back?”

“No, no – ” said the CEO.

“No, no, it’s whatever you’re comfortable with,” said my direct boss.

Despite what they said, yes, that’s pretty much what it meant. I grabbed about half of the junk from my desk, waited for a few photocopied documents and that was it.

Luckily my evening included an hour of therapy and a girlie dinner that turned into pizza and cupcakes at home with MaineMan and my friend Nornabelle. I explained to her I didn’t feel like crying over dinner at a restaurant, but she was welcome to come over to see our new place and listen to my sob story.

Today was weird. I woke up a little later than usual, Agnes still needed to be walked and Tucker still needed to be fed. I just didn’t need to go to work. I was supposed to meet my boss for lunch, but I opted to go to the office before everyone got there to grab a few belongings I couldn’t fit in my arms Wednesday. Awkward goodbyes just aren’t my thing.

The rest of the day I tried to relax. I made a few phone calls, including a tough one to my dad, I walked Agnes, I replied to a few condolence e-mails, I cleaned (something about this is therapeutic for me) and I organized some paperwork.

MaineMan came home with a movie and insisted on making tacos. This felt backwards, after all I was the one who’d been home all day, shouldn’t I have been making dinner? But no, not a chance. He wouldn’t let me within a foot of the kitchen, except to get a beer from the fridge.

At some point mid-dinner MaineMan went up to the kitchen to grab hot sauce and I looked at our little family with a smile. Tucker was sprawled out on the rug under the coat rack. Agnes was in front of the coffee table with her head on its surface staring at us, hoping for a nibble. I may have lost a job yesterday, and a paycheck once every two weeks, but my heart is still whole. And for that I am grateful.

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About Moni

Lover of life, singer of songs and soon-to-be creator of pretty things. I'm a former digital media editor who's launching a clothing line in 2018. When I'm not wife-ing and mom-ing, I'm walking the dog, drinking wine (or tequila) and planning future camping trips. And thrifting, binging on true crime shows, and wishing I was SUP-ing somewhere along the Pacific coast.
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20 Responses to Day 1 of a New Chapter

  1. Danica says:

    Oh Monica, I am sorry to hear this. Unemployment can be a scary thing and sometimes it is hard to trust that things will work out. I am proud of you for seeing the good in your life :-) Miss you girl!

  2. Erin Wilson says:

    I like your positive attitude, Mon, in the face of something so tough. I don’t want to be another one of those optimistic people who says, ‘everything happens for a reason,’ ‘this is fate telling you it just wasn’t meant to be,’ etc. when really all you want to do is say this f’ing sucks. So I won’t. I’ll merely say, try to enjoy the rest of the summer and know that something better is going to come along.

  3. monasapple says:

    @danica, thanks for reading, as always, and for your sweet words! it’s friends’ support like yours that will help me get through this. xo.

    @erin, you are so cute. thanks for taking the time to leave a comment. it means a lot. me and my pup just went on a hike in malibu and i’m thinking, ya know, this jobless thing isn’t so bad ;) and i will try to do just that. enjoy the summer. we have a guest room so please come west for a visit. you’d be welcome anytime.

  4. So how did you spend day 2 of unemployment? the anticipation is killing me

  5. Paz says:

    So sorry to read about this news but I’m confident that you’ll move on to something bigger and better. In the meantime, take advantage of being able to spend some fun, quality time with Agnes. Sending you good thoughts!

  6. Janet says:

    Monica, sorry to hear what happened with your job. Nothing is stable or certain in the work force anymore, but you’re super talented and have great experience, so I’m sure another opportunity will arise. As I always try to remember when in a transitional period, worry a little but then take time to enjoy the “free” time… it won’t last and soon you’ll be back on the hamster wheel working hard.

    Have a great rest of the summer! Keep writing.
    Janet

  7. Hands down, that sucks. However, you’re one smart kitten who will surely land on her feet and, AND, land in a better place. In the meantime, I admire your ability to appreciate what you have. I’d be curled up on the sofa with a bottle of wine in one hand and a self-help book in the other. “I don’t need no stinkin’ shower,” I’d mumble to the television.

    • monasapple says:

      thanks so much, pj. your words mean a lot! and nobody said anything about there not being LOADS of alcohol within an arm’s reach of the couch! and i have a few self-help books at the ready when i feel like opening them… just more time to focus and get crunching on the book i’ve always hoped to write! how ’bout you? do you recommend a writing class or just do it?

  8. Warrior says:

    So sorry to hear the news Moni… Sucks, but glad you’re keeping a positive outlook! I think this also means you and MaineMan need to come visit Warrior, his wife, and his baby boy in Hawaii sometime this fall…

    • monasapple says:

      warrior! love it. thanks for leaving a comment. i’d really gotten down on the job over the past few months so it really is for the best. now i just get a fresh restart which i’m excited about. how’s jackson?? i’ll check out your fb to see if you have new pix up… hawaii in the fall sounds pretty spectacular!

  9. Lauren says:

    Hey Mon,

    I can relate to this post. I was unemployed for a couple of months this fall and having Toby (the dog) around was such a nice companion during that time. It’s hard to enjoy the time “off” because you are probably stressed about getting a job (at least I was) but now I look back and wish I had just appreciated the moment more. You will get another job so hopefully you can enjoy the freedom of unemployment more than I did!

    • monasapple says:

      lauren, hey girl! thanks so much for your support. means a lot after all these years. i miss our fishing days at lake club ;) it’s a mixed bag right now – i’ll be relaxing and thinking about what i’m going to do all day, then i’ll have a moment of anxiety around lunchtime like uhoh, i need to get my act together. but you’re right, i do want to enjoy this time. and agnes has helped tremendously. hope all’s well with you, and please, if you’re ever in need of a cali vacation, we have a guest bedroom – dogs welcome! xo and give my best to your fam.

  10. hey babe, so sorry to hear this… i was laid off at nbc after the elections and it killed especially after the hard work and the long hours. trust that you will definitely find something again! lots of love to you!
    -aswini

    • monasapple says:

      aswini! it was sooo lovely to hear from you. thanks for your support. i didn’t realize that had happened to you… stupid nbc. is that how you ended up in london more or less? i think i may end up doing the same thing. like take this time to take a breather, regroup and go back to school for something i’m really passionate about. hope all’s well for you and let me know if you’re ever out in socal! -mon

  11. emily says:

    Moni. I don’t know a more resilient and strong woman. You will indoubtedly land…not just on your feet, but beautifully upright with an even brighter future ahead of you. I am so sorry for the uncomfortability of this moment, but know it is temporary. Can’t wait to see your next move – your writing will surely continue to inspire us all!!

    love you, emmy

  12. monasapple says:

    hi em, thanks so much for leaving a comment. miss you and it means a lot. you hit the nail on the head.. uncomfortability. i walk by my landlords like every day and i’m sure they’re like wth is monica doing. does she not work? anyway, i’m excited for the next chapter. now i just need to figure out what it is.

  13. Greg says:

    Forgive me for not following your posts as often as I should. So sorry for your job loss. I know how you feel. I have been on and off unemployment for two years and I have learned to embrace it. I am fortunate to have a wife who has a job and benefits.I call her my sugar momma now ;). When the shock wears off look at the financial equation from both sides. Income and expenditures. I have found that much of what we spend are not real needs but just wants. You are young and talented go out an go for it!

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